Six days, two hours, 15 minutes or so. Quite a bit later in the morning than usual - so there was plenty of light to see him this time. All of these most recent seizures, say the last 5 or 6, have been different from the ones earlier in the summer before the 102-day break. The most striking difference to me, is the increased amount of time that it seems to take now for him to recover. It was an entire 24 hours after the last seizure before he was physically able to confidently jump or even walk up the steps to the window ledge. He was not only wobblier than usual, he didn't seem to have the coordination between his brain and his front legs. It is worrying. On the other hand, everything's worrying. My tolerance for all this seems to have significantly decreased, especially since my mother's diagnosis. One dying brain is all I can deal with at a time, I guess.
Today's event: Let's see. Started up with virtually no fanfare. Hardly any growling/snarling until well into the seizure and even then, the volume was much reduced. Salivation evident after it was over because the sheet and his head were wet, but I didn't see foam all over his face. A moderate amount of flopping. Longer than usual, I think, although that's subjective; sometimes I'm trying so hard to concentrate on remembering what he's doing that I'm not keeping good track of the time. I would guess this was at least 30 seconds, possibly longer. At least twice, the flopping slowed down and I thought he was done, but he wasn't. He was bouncing pretty high, but not particular violently, compared to other seizures. The end was very abrupt, as usual - it was like he was just deflated, popped like a balloon with a pin. And then there were a series of five or six very hard jerks that involved his entire body. And what seemed like eye contact with him - he looked SURPRISED, somehow; I don't remember ever feeling like he saw that I was there after a seizure before. Afterwards, he lay absolutely still for at least five minutes. Normally, he jumps down and heads for the kitchen to eat ravenously. Today, he jumped down, but he seemed confused about what he wanted to do. He started off in the wrong direction, and even when I called him to come the other way, to the kitchen to get something to eat, he seemed uncertain. He ate when I put a dish of Fancy Feast down for him, but not as intensely as normal. I left the kitchen to do something, and he didn't follow, but he apparently did stop eating - he was in the living room when I came back. He ate a little more, and then came and sat behind my chair. He climbed up onto the desk once, and seemed to want to go to the window ledge, but I was hesitant to let him make the jump, so I helped him get his feet onto the steps. He went unsteadily up the last step, turned around and came back down, and then just meatloafed on the rug. I went and got him a kitty pi because it's kind of cold here today - supposed to be a high in the 50's, I think - and he curled up in it. As I was typing that, he showed up on the desk again. He's so unstable that, while petting him, it's hard not to make him tilt over. I haven't been able to weigh him lately - (long story involving painting the living room and dining room) - but I'd guess that his weight is under 9 pounds. Possibly a good bit under 9 pounds. His spine is painfully prominent. I have been bottle feeding him once or twice a day for the last week. Multiple trips on and off the desk have been occurring now; he just stole my pen, but then didn't seem to know what he wanted to do with it.
Maybe the most striking thing about today's seizure was his eyes. I have never noticed before (the light's seldom sufficient) , but today, his pupils were hugely dilated for almost a half hour after the seizure ended. Gigantic and all black.
I'm kind of scattered these days - yeah, more than usual - and yesterday, I absolutely couldn't remember if I'd given him his 6:00 Keppra and Marin. (I even have a chart to keep track of his pills; I just haven't been doing it.) I tried every way I could to figure it out, but..... I could remember the AM pills, and a couple of the previous day's, but nothing for 6 PM. SO, around 8:30 PM, when it had occurred to me to worry about it, I ended up giving him another 1/4 and a "chunk" of Keppra. I was afraid that he'd seem overdosed, but he didn't act any differently the rest of the evening, so I'm left to wonder if maybe he didn't actually get extra medication, and maybe this seizure occurred because that dose was late? Seems unlikely, though. I'm thinking that it happened, well, because it COULD and DID. I just remembered now, too, while I was fixing this morning's load of pills for him, that the phenobarb last night was a problem - the counter had wet spots that I didn't notice were there until I'd put two phenobarb pills down in them, intending to break the pills in half. They turned into a chalky mess almost the second they got damp. Then a third one fell on the floor, and a fourth, my fingernail must have had a little water underneath it, and when I tried to crack the pill, it got wet on top, as opposed to the bottom. And, to top off a not-particularly-admirable performance as feline caretaker/medicator, the Pill Pocket - FINALLY loaded with the correct amount of phenobarb, fell out of his mouth and onto the floor, which required starting everything all over again. Not one of my finer moments.
All in all, I'm not so surprised by this seizure. Disappointed, and sad, and wishing it hadn't been, but it's become obvious that I have only the most minimal effect on the workings of my sweet Milk's sad little brain, and there's not much point in getting hysterical about it. And I'm sure the knot in my stomach will go away soon......
