Not much correlation

As I said, just for curiosity's sake, I was interested to see the correlation between Milk's seizures and the full moon. There wasn't much. Or maybe there was, and I just don't know how to figure it. Anyway, here are the dates (and it is noted if there were multiple seizures, although some clusters may be spread over more than one date, which isn't noted. geez. ) and the percentage of the full moon for that date. I don't know how you would allow for the presence/quantity/variety of medication, either, come to think of it.

3/23/07 ***** 23% (waxing)
3/24 (2x) ***** 34% (waxing)
3/25 ***** 50% (waxing)
3/27 ***** 65% (waxing)
3/29 ***** 83% (waxing)
3/31 ***** 95% (waxing)
4/1 ***** 98% (waxing)
4/2 FULL MOON
4/3 FULL MOON
4/4 ***** 98% (waning)
6/11 ***** 20% (waning)
6/15 (2x) ***** 0% New moon
7/12 (3x) ***** 7% (waning)
7/15 (2x) ***** 1% (waxing)
7/17 ***** 8% (waxing)
7/19 (2x) ***** 23% (waxing)
9/16 (2x) ***** 23% (waxing
9/26 FULL MOON
10/1 ***** 72% (waning)
10/5 ***** 31% (waning)
10/7 ***** 14% (waning)
10/12 (2x) *****1% (waxing)
10/17/07*****30% (waxing)Now, does anyone have any brilliant interpretations?

Same time and place, different day........

One more seizure. Crap. Well, I should be grateful it was only one, right?

He was sleeping between my feet, as usual. It took a few seconds to realize what was happening. There was less jaw snapping than usual, the body jerking was pretty much the normal amount, but towards the end, as I was wiping up some of the saliva from his face, he made these three very loud, scary-sounding, gutteral noises. Not exactly a shriek, but creepy. This is only the second time he's ever made noise during a seizure. The seizure ended five or six seconds later, and he just laid there. I wiped some more. Then suddenly, he jumped down and dashed off. It wasn't the usual pacing from before though. Not as long, and not covering as much territory. I went to the kitchen to fix him a bowl of food, expecting that he'd come in to eat, but he didn't. I went into the living room, and he was cleaning up a bowl that I'd left for Scruffy in case he dropped too low. (Couldn't we just please have one problem at a time, for Pete's sake?) I put the new bowl down and he eagerly started eating. I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, he had moved to the first bowl again. I'm a little nervous, remembering that the last seizures had come only five minutes apart, but so far, it's been about twenty minutes and nothing more has happened.

I wonder if the changing of parts of the seizure routine indicates some sort of progression of the disease? (Always dreading the possibility that he's going to start peeing during a seizure....) I'm surprised at this one happening, too, because we've been very regular with the medications, and he's been incredibly himself again. You'd never know, except that he still needs to gain a little weight and start eating a little better, that he'd even been that sad, falling-down, overdosed little white cat just a couple weeks ago. He has been very active - sometimes I worry that all that flying around all over the house might trigger a seizure, but so far, he's only had seizures when he's asleep.

I want to be more calm about this one. The last two really came as a shock, and I didn't handle the disappointment very well. At least it's been 10 days since the previous seizures. Think positively. I wonder if they increase Keppra based on breakthrough seizures. It would seem not, since Dr. L. was concerned about his weight for prescribing the dosage. Aha - he's gained six or seven ounces in the last few days - I wonder if that's significant. I didn't call about an appointment for his blood work because I have to take Scruffy to the eye doctor this week, but maybe if Stephen can go with me, I could just have the technician appointment for bloodwork...... Dr. L. can be happy that I didn't get her out of bed this time, anyway.

One last thing - Hope suggested keeping track of the full moons to see if there is any relationship between them and the seizures. There is a full moon now. I "borrowed" the moon phases thingy that Steve put on FDMB, and have added it to the blogs for both Scruffy and Milkshake. I believe there's also a way to use the moon phase website to go back and check other full moon dates - when I have a lot of extra energy, I'm going to do that, just for curiousity's sake, to the dates of Milk's seizures.

Still going well.....

Between the ease of giving the Keppra in capsules and only bottlefeeding little Milk twice a day, I feel like I'm on vacation! Well, not exactly, but.... He has eaten willingly from a bowl for the last two or three days. Not a lot, but enough to give me hope that he'll be able to regain a little of his weight. It's going to be a shock to Busy when Milk is once again eating completely on his own - he thinks Milk's his own personal smorgasbord. He hangs around while I'm feeding Milk so he can get the clumps of cat food that I missed with the washcloth. (This looks like affection, but it's actually a careful surveillance for Turkey Wellness!)




Milkshake has become the great bug chaser. All those bugs that manage to get into the house in September have NO idea that he's waiting for them. Yesterday, he found another of those nasty-looking, unidentified black bugs with the big mean pincers on its head. I stepped on it before it took a chunk out of my little white boy. Right now, he's behind me, pursuing what I think/hope is a cricket. Unsuccessfully.

There are no words to describe how incredible it is to see my Milkshake once again bounding around the house and playing and watching the birds, and snuggling with the other cats. It makes me sick to realize how badly he was affected by the unintentional phenobarbital overdose. I need to take him next week for blood levels again. If you can judge by his behavior and activity level, they should once again be in a safe range. Fingers crossed.

Two was enough.

Hopefully, those two seizures were the last for a very long time. I can't understand Milk's even having them, because in the last couple of days, the change in him has been drastic and amazing. He looks like himself again - still thin, but sleek and tall and somehow confident again. He hasn't fallen off anything for two weeks. When I'm holding him and I set him on the floor, his back legs no longer collapse under him. And this morning, miracle of miracles, I put his food bowl down in front of him - well, he walked off and I had to follow him around a little while - but eventually, he ATE the food. I have continued to give him the same canned food that everyone else gets, even though he didn't eat any of it, but he wants dry too; until his weight begins to improve and he develops an actual appetite again, that's fine. He's eating a ton of treats, too, now; besides Rege's treat routine with them, I've been giving him treats as a bribe with his pills.

He doesn't seem to be absolutely sure that the grape-squirting phase is over. I dip the end of his Keppra capsules in butter, which he really likes the taste of. Doesn't encourage him to be any more cooperative, but at least I know how much Keppra is getting into his body.

I love to look at him now - you can tell that he's feeling so much more normal. Such a sweet boy.

oh, no. two seizures in ten minutes.

I woke at 5:00 AM to the sound of Milk's having a seizure. At first, I didn't realize what was happening. It's been quite a while, and things have been going so well with him. I thought last night that it was amazing how much back to normal he is with the reduced phenobarbital, except for the continued anorexia. He's been getting the compounded capsules instead of the awful grape liquid Keppra for four days. I can't imagine that he's getting any less Keppra from the pills than from the uncertain amounts I was squirting into his mouth three times a day.

It was dark when the first seizure started, and I didn't want to turn on the light or move him. There was the usual jerking body movements and foaming. When it stopped, after probably less than a minute - I don't know how long it was going on before I woke up - he didn't do his usual pacing. He just sat and let me wipe his chest and face. Then he snuggled up against me. I thought that it was over, and was wondering why he didn't want food like he did after previous seizures. And then, he sort of looked over my shoulder with a kind of haunted look in his eyes - hard to describe, but it was like he saw something unpleasant coming. And then saliva started to drip from the corner of his mouth. He looked scared, and his eyes got real pink around the outside edges. I thought, like a dope, that maybe I could interrupt the seizure before it started by talking to him and stroking him. Didn't work. He collapsed on his side and the jerking and foaming started again. It seemed shorter this time than the previous time. I cleaned him up again, and then he wanted to get down. I gave him a can of food, and he ate almost all of it. There was still none of the ritualistic pacing.

I went back to the living room with the phone and called the emergency hospital. (Dr. L. had left me valium and catheters there, but I didn't get them picked up.) Short of bringing him in for them to look at, the emergency people didn't have anything to offer. The receptionist said to call the regular number for Dr. L and they'd leave a message in her voicemail. Which I did. The 2nd receptionist took the information and I thought she said that she'd have the doctor on call return my call. When the phone rang, I had to ask who it was - it's now 5:45 AM - and it turned out to be a very sleepy Dr. L, who had been awakened for my call. Apparently, there isn't a doctor on call, exactly. She asked how long Milk had been at the reduced phenobarb dosage of 8mg bid, and I wasn't sure - I thought it had been two weeks - then I looked on here, and it's only been 11 days. She said I could bring him to the emergency hospital if I thought it was necessary. Othewise, I should watch him and see if there are more seizures, and that I could make a "technician appointment" for blood work next week. Which I guess I will do. And I need to pick up the stupid valium, too.

This is very upsetting. Things were going so well. He is - except for the still very diminished appetite - pretty much totally himself again. I can't remember the last time he fell. He looks alert and aware. He's hopping and jumping all over the place, and snuggling with the other cats just like before. I wanted it all to be over with.

To make things even worse, while I was mopping up Milk from the second seizure, Burble jumped on Scruffy, who dragged himself and the orange pain-in-the-neck toward the kitchen. When Scruffy came out - apparently having eaten some of the food that Milk didn't finish from his second can - he was noticeably limping on his right front foot. He let me pick him up and test him, and touch his foot. I didn't see anything wrong with it - no blood or anything. He didn't fuss about my lightly squeezing it. I put him down and he limped over to the tv stand and tried to crawl behind it. I don't need TWO of them to be dragging to the emergency hospital.

My mother wanted me to come down and take pictures of her hundred year old mulberry tree, or whatever it is, today. Now I'm afraid to leave both Scruffy and Milk. This was NOT supposed to happen.

Shhhh! (Still no seizures!)

9/4/07 - reduced phenobarb dosage to 8mg BID. I'm a wreck about it. While the Keppra certainly appears to be working so far, because it's liquid, I never have any idea how much he's actually gotten in his body. Sometimes it appears there's quite a significant quantity on ME. I'm working on a less complicated (subtracting the towel from the equation) way of administering the stuff. It's worked the last couple of doses to get him when he's asleep, pry open his mouth, and squirt it in. I wish it was pills. I wish it didn't have that grape taste. I wish I didn't have this enormous bottle that cost $125 to get into him, and I wish he would hurry up and gain enough weight to be able to order pills from Canada. It would be so much less of an ordeal to have to pill him five times a day than it is with this smelly liquid.

That whining over with, there has been a very noticeable difference with the reduction from 36mg to 24 mg per day. He's much more alert and coordinated. And jumping around like he never had back legs that were useless. I've taken a ton of pictures in the past week or so of him snuggled up to the other guys just like in the good old days. (He told the animal communicator how much he loves Scruffy and Burble and Busy, and you can see that so clearly in the pictures.) He's still not eating voluntarily anywhere near an adequate amount, but two mornings in a row, he has spent a couple minutes grazing in his bowl. This morning, he didn't even try to bury it first. I switched from AD to Wellness for his bottle, and while he doesn't seem to be gaining any weight, at least he's staying about the same. (Let's have a cheer here: Chunk it up, Chunk it up, Waaaaaaaay Up! Eat, Milkshake!) I couldn't get Dr. L to commit to a weight that would mean that he can take pills instead of liquid. I'm hoping that it's ten pounds, which would be a not-too-huge gain.

Best of all, now when I look in his eyes, he's IN there again.

Keppra is working(?)

I'm almost afraid to post anything about this. Don't want to jinx what looks like it might be successful. Milk started the liquid, grape-flavored Keppra (I apologize to him every time I squirt it into his mouth) on Saturday, August 25, 2007. I was able to use the prescription that Dr. L gave me for Canada to buy a bottle of the liquid at a compounding pharmacy on Friday, but the pharmacist added chicken flavor to the grape flavor, and I couldn't bring myself to give him that horrible crap. So, on Saturday, Dr. G. called in a prescription for a couple days' worth of the liquid Keppra until I can talk to Dr. L.

So far, so good. (It's Friday, one week later.) No seizures. But my life has disappeared. He's still not eating, so I'm still bottlefeeding him four times a day. (He will eat treats, thank goodness. Bribery exists.) I did switch from AD (full of all sorts of liver and chemicals) to Wellness, which seems to have been an okay idea. Then he gets .9 ml of grape Keppra liquid three times a day - has to be every 8 hours exactly. He hates this. I have to capture him, wrap him in a towel, and then figure out a way to squirt the Keppra into his mouth without getting it all over both of us. The last two doses, I have no idea how much got into him - it was all over my chin and shoulder, and there is, of course, no way to know how much was wasted, or what the actual dosage given was. Then we add the lowered phenobarbital dosage of 12mg BID, which also is supposed to be at exactly 12 hours apart. In between that, I feed the other three, and test and shoot Scruffy whenever. I've got - with luck - (it didn't work today because Scruffy for the first time in weeks was actually dropping - way too fast and too much, but dropping - when I wanted to go out) four hours in the afternoon for my life. I can't figure out a better schedule for Milk's medication, either. I don't want them too close together, in case one or the other makes him throw up. I'd rather not be chasing him around all day to shove stuff into his mouth. I asked Dr. L this afternoon when he will be able to switch from Keppra liquid to pills, which would hopefully be cheaper, and which would definitely be more dependably dosed, and less messy and less repulsive to poor little Milk. She said, given that he still won't eat, it's going to be quite a while, since she's basing the dosage on his weight. I don't know what they'll do if he starts to have seizures again. The phenobarb is to be lowered again on Monday or Tuesday, with a goal of having him on 8mg BID. She didn't say anything about increasing the Keppra. Maybe she wants to see if he has a seizure first. He's much less clumsy and uncoordinated, he's not sleeping as much, and he's more active. If only he'd eat...

Shocking lab report

Well, Milk had his appointment with Dr. L on 8/23/07. She didn't have much opportunity to observe him walking, as he was too scared to do much but slink around, flatter than a pancake. His weight on their scale was down to 9 pounds, 8 ounces. She wants to add Keppra to his medications, and calculated that he would need, based on his weight, 90mg three times a day.

On 8/24, a technician called and said that the blood work results were back, and there "didn't appear to be any liver failure yet." I thought that was a kind of peculiar remark, until she then said that his phenobarb levels were 56. FIFTY SIX. (The standard, which was established on dogs, is 15 to 45, and cats are supposed to be as close to 20 as possible. ) I was stunned. He's been essentially on the same dosage (well, right now, he's taking 4mg/day more than in the beginning) for going on five months. The last pheno level was 25.6. At any rate, the phenobarb was to be cut back - per Dr. J, who isn't the actual doctor we saw - to 16mg AM and 8 mg PM. (Someone suggested on the epifeline board that it'd be better to do 12 and 12. I don't understand their emphasis on making the dosages even, but it's doable. I still have a bunch of those little skinny pills from Costco that can be easily broken into quarters. The small but very thick pills from CVS - it wouldn't be possible with them, I don't think.)

After a whole mess that I don't even want to think about - but which ended up with me paying $55 for chicken AND grape flavored liquid Keppra - makes me shudder just thinking about that mixture! - on Friday afternoon at a compounding pharmacy in Avalon - I am really unhappy about the whole thing, and even though this guy has the prescription, I'm not going back there - I heard from Dr. J., Dr. W in Ohio, and Dr. G, all within the space of an hour or so on Saturday. Dr. L, our actual IM physician, is to be back in on Monday, the 27th, so I assume I'll hear from her then. I want to know how close Milk is to being able to use a standard (non-compounded) amount, preferably in pill form. The grape liquid is torture for both Milk and I. The amount is large enough to make the plunger of the syringe be almost all the way out of the barrel, and I have not yet been able to get the whole dosage into him in one try. He doesn't foam, which is a blessing, but he really doesn't like the stuff, and I would prefer to give him pills that I don't have to pay an arm and a leg for. Between the 3 times a day Keppra and the 2 times a day phenobarbital and the 4 feedings a day, Milk has gotten to the point where, when I walk in his direction, he speeds up his wobbly little bod and disappears. He did eat a little from his own bowl yesterday morning, but not enough. I'm going to change from AD to Wellness for his bottlefeeding; practically the only ingredient in AD is liver from pigs and cows and chickens, etc. At almost $2 a can, I'd really rather he had better quality food.

On the positive side, with the decrease in phenobarbital and the addition of Keppra, he seems to be navigating a little better. The appetite still needs work, although he's more than willing to eat all the treats I offer him - working on making that a more effective bribe! He's been successfully jumping from the back of the armchair over to the back of the couch, which I don't think he would have been able to do a week ago. And he seems a little more alert. Now if he'd just EAT.

Oh, where, oh, where has his appetite gone?

We have about reached the point where Milk's not eating much of anything on his own. Even the dry that I put down for him to eat after his pill usually ends up getting eaten by Busy or Burble. So wonderful, I'm damaging THREE cats, instead of just one.... Feeding him four times a day with the AD - an entire can - seems to make it possible to maintain him at 9 pounds, 14 ounces. Sunday, I only fed him three times, and he lost 3 ounces that he can hardly afford. He's a fur bag full of bones. A lot of nights (and very early mornings!) he and Burble and Busy go careening around all over the house. The last couple days, not so much - he seems sort of weaker, and is definitely wobblier. He had a terrible fall off the cat tree. I'd just poked Scruffy's ear, so I couldn't get up in time, and in literally a split second, Milk jumped up, slipped, hung on with one claw, and then fell about three feet and landed flat on his back. I couldn't get to him before he got back up. He seemed to be okay - more surprised than anything. He never seems to remember that he's likely to fall until it's too late. I'm sick to death of watching him be unable to do all the stuff he worked so hard to do after he first came here.

I posted on the epifeline board today to ask about Keppra. I wanted to know if it replaces phenobarbital. (Wouldn't that be wonderful!) There were a bunch of posts from January from people using Keppra, and it seems as though some of the cats were wobblier on it, and at least one lost his appetite. That's not good news. Someone also posted (from Germany) that someone - an authority, I assume, although I didn't recognize the name - preferred Topamax to Keppra. I hadn't seen that before. I just want something that will let my cat be himself again, and make him want to eat. The smell of AD is turning my stomach. It's everywhere - not just the smell, the AD - it sticks to my watch and to my clothes, and to poor little Milk's fur. Fortunately, Busy has decided that it's his job to clean up after Milk eats. He licks and licks and gets all those lumps of food off the little boy. (Busy can use a few extra calories, too.) It's a good thing - I would hate to have the specialist see him on Thursday with that stinky food all over him. It's almost impossible to wipe it off - it just turns into smaller lumps and clings all the harder to his fur.

I'm nervous about Thursday. I don't want to leave him there for them to do stuff to all afternoon. He's such a shy little cat, and he feels lousy. How do I know they'll be nice to him? What kind of awful things are they going to do? How is he going to understand any of this?

This is not going well.

I love pictures of Busy and Milkshake together. The contrast of their fur, and the cuddling they do is so appealing. I like, too, that it's a very similar kind of nurturing relationship to the one Busy and Britty had for the first five years of his life.

******************************************

It has become increasingly difficult to get Milk to eat. Wonderful Hope sent me a scale that actually tells you what the weight is in understandable numbers (as opposed to the one I've been using that doesn't), and he's down to 9 pounds, 14 ounces. Back in March, before he started having seizures, he weighed something close to 12 pounds on my other weird scale. He's very wobbly - when he shakes his head, the way cats do, he can hardly stay on his feet. I've been getting at least a jar of baby food meat, mixed with lactose free milk, into him every day, but it's clearly not enough maintain his weight, it doesn't contain all the nutrients he needs, and I guess I'm gonna have to see if Dr. G. has any AD at his office. The only things Milk will willingly eat are treats; not much nutrition there, either. I now have three different kinds of dry food to give him with his pills - Wellness Core, Nature's Variety Chicken and Rice, and Wellness Kitten. He seems to prefer the NV, although as of yesterday, he doesn't eat more than two or three pieces of any of them. Maybe I should go out and buy a bucket of Meow Mix or something.

Okay, I got ten cans of AD this afternoon, and so far, have gotten about a half can into Milk. He also ate a few little pieces of baked chicken breast, and a bunch of treats. I'm going to weigh him often.

We have an appointment on August 23rd with the internal medicine specialist (not the doctor that the Ohio State neurologist recommended - when I said that I was told specifically to see him, the receptionist said that my appointment was with his associate. Which might be okay anyway; I know two people who took their cats to the original doctor and were not happy with him. He's supposed to stay the whole day, although I don't know what for exactly. The estimate was somewhere around $500; with ultrasound (which I'd been told wasn't useful for diagnosing the cause of seizures, so maybe the receptionist just made it up), $1200, and with the MRI (which I believe they don't even DO at this office), $2200.

The dosage reduction last week (1/4 pill less each day) seems to have been not a problem, thank goodness. As far as I know, he hasn't had any seizures since the reduction, and I haven't seen any of the "mini-seizures" - the odd behaviors that didn't include the seeming loss of awareness and foaming of the real thing. I wish I knew how rare a result this almost total lack of appetite is with phenobarbital. I have to assume that the phenobarb is the cause, because his appetite diminished immediately after he started taking the stuff.

I was just reminded of one of little Milk's funniest habits (which has disappeared, along with virtually everything else about him that was so wonderful) - he was the self-appointed litter box monitor. He'd sit in the kitchen and watch for the others to use the box, and then he'd make sure everything was properly buried. He'd scritch and scritch and scritch, and the other three would watch him like he was nuts....

This is really getting me down.

Making progress, hopefully.

The veterinary neurologist from Ohio called me back this morning. She isn't in practice any more, so she doesn't need to see Milk. She recommended making an appointment with Dr. J., the IM specialist in Etna. (Which required a referral from Dr. G.) I called them, and their earliest appointment, assuming that I get the referral in, is the last week of August. Which isn't too bad at all. Dr. W., the neurologist, also recommended that I give Milk the herbs that the animal communicator gave me - Gava and Cudweed. She said that they do not impact the phenobarbital. She also suggested the possiblity of using Keppra with the phenobarb, in the hope of reducing what is quite a large dosage. She is concerned with the dosage, and with the weight loss and lack of appetite. So, we're all on the same page, I guess. She was very nice, and is apparently doing this for free....... (She also mentioned that she has been experimenting with a carbohydrate called PSP that is supposed to have a very significant effect on FD. Now that'd be a blessing, too.)

I called Dr. G. and requested a referral, which the technician said she'd send out this afternoon. So tomorrow I'll call and make the appointment. I am pretty sure that this is the same doctor that I was referred to for Scruffy back when they thought that he had FIP, or when he was first diagnosed with diabetes, or something, and the initial appointment was like $800 or something. But, Milkshake's circumstances are so dire at this point that something has to be done. This is unbearable.

Weak and starving both?

Milk's had two very bad days. He has fallen repeatedly. His back legs just don't support him. I don't know if this is caused by the phenobarb; other people on the epi-feline message board also said they had rear leg weakness. But maybe, maybe this is because he's not eating enough, too? The last thing I want to do is recreate his days of being starved. He's so skinny. I weighed him this morning, on that stupid scale that the ounces only go up to .9. The last time he was at the vet's, he weighed 9 pounds, 15 ounces. I'd weighed him at home before we left, and he was 9.9. This morning, on my stupid scale, he was 9.8. Not a lot, I guess - although who knows what he actually weighs, but it's still a loss. Even when I give him two dozen or so pieces of Wellness Kitten dry with his pills, he never finishes more than half. I'm thinking that I need to get some baby food and start bottle feeding him. I don't like poking syringes in their mouths. Or should I ask Dr. G. for cyproheptadine? How come the appetite stimulant part of phenobarbital isn't working at all for him?

Giving him phenobarb is getting more and more depressing; he's still a zombie from the previous dose, and it's time for the next one. Am I supposed to choose for him between this state of being totally out of it or having seizures that have the potential to increase in frequency and severity? I don't want either one for him. I have been periodically giving him one 1/4 tablet instead of two per day(the last dosage increase), which I know isn't recommended, but this is so hard to watch. He hasn't had any seizures since the last increase on July 19, but the cost to him has been enormous. He rarely plays, he falls all the time, and his interactions with the other cats is frequently very agressive and unpleasant when he is awake - a lot of neck-chewing and everyone meowing. Sleeping, he's snuggled up against one of the others just like he used to be when his life was actually a life. The communicator said that it's important to be positive and to affirm the good parts of his life, but truthfully, all I see is a poor little cat that has had a horrible beginning, a decent "middle", and back to horror again, and he's only two years old. I can't watch him wasting away.

The Animal Communicator

Hope, and Dale, and Linda (and Wild Thing) got together and gave me an hour with Morgan the animal communicator for my birthday. The appointment was this afternoon. I was a wreck, thinking that all four cats would tell her that I make them crazy and they'd like to live elsewhere. But she said they like me, they realllly like me. (HA!)

We talked a long time about little Milkshake. He wanted me to know that he'd been with me before, when he had another life. (I wish I'd thought to say, "What life?" - I think so slowly on my feet.) I think he was actually my beloved Black Kitty, who died in 2000. It would seem to explain the instant attachment I felt to him, even in his cage at PetSmart. Anyway, she did a "body scan" on Milk, and she said she saw inflammation and pressure in his head, but no tumor. She suggested the use of two herbs - cudweed and gaba, I think they were (boy, did I have those names screwed up!) - that she'd used for animals with seizures before successfully. I'm willing to try them, although I don't know how I could tell if they were working or not since he's taking phenobarbital. Maybe I could call her again and she'd get him to tell her? It was very touching, and made me cry again and again. There is something undeniably connecting me to this little white cat; I've never had eye contact with a cat before like with him. Phenobarb has sadly taken away some of the things that were most meaningful with him, but maybe they'll come back eventually. She said that he does love the other cats, even Burble. My mind doesn't retain stuff much any more, so fortunately, Dale was recording the conversation at her radio station, and I'll be able to refresh my memory when I get the CD. Another significant thing Morgan said was that Milk's got four or five vertebrae that are severely out of whack and causing him pain. (Could that be contributing to the rear leg weakness? Or could all the falling down have added to the problem?) She said that he said he feels "hazy" before a seizure, but that he "goes away" from his body during one, so it's not scary to him. She also has a friend who teaches neurology at the Ohio State Vet School, but is in private practice, and suggested that I call her friend - Sue W, I believe her name was - and ask her to look at Milk's blood work and tests and stuff and consult with Dr. G. She's in Columbus, which is about a two or three hour drive - so maybe she'd be a possibility for an actual hands-on visit. She practices "integrative" medicine - both the allopathic and the homeopathic, I think Morgan said. (Every time I think about using herbs, I remember the Chinese herbs that kind Dr. Doug had made for Scruffy - a liver flavored liquid that made him foam and foam, and an incredibly stinky pill that was so enormous that even cut in half, I couldn't get it down Muffer's throat. I hope that these herbs are more palatable.)

Little Milk's not having a very good day today. He seems weak and pretty out of it. He's been asleep almost the entire day. And he ate almost nothing but a little of the dry food that I gave him with his pills. He's really back to the "bag of bones" stage. Morgan suggested giving him milk. (Actually, she said, "The word "milk" keeps coming to me." I said, "Well, yeah, that's his name." Anyway, she thought he might enjoy having some milk - and if he'd drink it, I'd be glad to give him some of Rege's lactose free stuff. Any extra calories are welcome.) I want him to be okay. Now.

No seizures, but......

So far, so good - no seizures since July 19. (That's 5 days. Yippee.) The increased amount of phenobarb so far seems to be controlling the seizures, but Milk's spending an awful lot of his daytime hours under the bed, and his rear leg "weakness" has doubled or tripled. He's fallen off just about everything he tried to jump up onto for the last day or so. If I pick him up to set him on the floor, his back legs just sort of collapse under him. Walking across soft surfaces , he's hardly able to manuever. Given the loss of muscle tissue when he was rescued and the consequent walking problems then that seem to resolve themselves with adequate nutrition, I wonder if he is having more severe problems now. Especially since his appetite has been so negatively affected by the medication. I reread the Patient Information sheet that comes with the phenobarbital, but it doesn't mention "rear leg weakness". (Probably because humans don't HAVE rear legs........) I am concerned. I searched for "rear leg weakness" on the Yahoo epifelines website - where I distinctly remember reading something about it, but couldn't find anything except a discussion a day or so ago in which four people agreed that their cats had it, too. I was spending so much time and energy trying to ensure that Milk didn't fall during a seizure, and now I'm worrying about the non-seizure times, too. This poor sweet little cat. It's not fair. I'm thinking that, even though Dr. G. said it was okay to give him the extra 1/2 tablet once a day, I'm going to divide it in two and give 1/4 tablet twice a day. Although, it doesn't make sense to me - if they don't have to worry about how long it's been before/after a shot when they do the bloodwork because the amount of phenobarb in the blood evens itself out, what difference does it make if the two daily doses are uneven?

#18, #19, #20, #21, #22. Enough, already.

Seizure #18 - 7/15/07, 5:14 AM. He was sleeping, I assume. I don't know how long it had been going on when it woke me up, but this seemed like a short one. He was just laying on his side, and once I wiped the foam off his face and neck, he put his head back down and just laid there. It crossed my mind to wonder if he was still breathing. He was, thank goodness. There had been foaming, jaw snapping, and some body jerking. It took him a while - probably nearly a minute - to get up and start pacing. He moved really fast when he did, and by the second round, when he'd returned to the kitchen, I had food ready for him. He immediately stopped to eat, and I went back to bed because I thought that would be the end of it. Not. Burble refused to let Milk alone. And Busy joined in. From 5:15 to a little after 7:00, they were thumping and racing and banging into things, up and down the steps, meowing, and carrying on. I was so afraid that it would trigger another seizure. I got to pet him a half dozen times when he paused in exhaustion, but he wouldn't sit on my lap, and Burble wouldn't stay away.

So much for my different manufacturer theory. He had both pills yesterday from the brand new/old manufacturer prescription that I picked up yesterday morning. Maybe they just haven't had time to start working? How much delusion can I churn up here? I'm thinking, since I have to go to the dentist tomorrow afternoon and maybe we could see if the phenobarb blood levels are deficient today while the pills are new - maybe it'd be worth taking him down there this afternoon. I supposed they'd have to hold the blood till tomorrow afternoon anyway.

Seizure #19, 7/15/07, 9:00 PM I didn't see this one, but Milk came into the kitchen meowing his seizure meow - frantic and urgent - and started looking for a bowl of something to eat. When I got close to him, his fur was soaked, all down his chest and up around the back of his head. When I went to the kitchen to fix their food, he was asleep in a Kitty Pi on the couch. I hate hate hate when he has to come to after a seizure and I'm not there to clean him up and feed him right away.

#20 7/ 17/07, 8:15 AM Mild seizure. He woke me because of the foaming sounds, but he was sitting, leaning against the back of the couch, and there was very little jerking - very little movement of any kind, actually. I wiped up the saliva, and he just sat there. I left the living room twice, and he still didn't change position. He did eventually jump down, but skipped the pacing and meowing. He found the remnants of last night's late night snack and tried to eat it, so I gave him a can of FF, which he ate. Then he and Burble did a lot of running around and he meowed quite a bit. Sometimes it seems odd that he is so much more coordinated and active directly after a seizure than he normally is on medication. I wonder if that's significant.

Took him to Dr. G. yesterday afternoon to have bloodwork done for phenobarb levels. The results will hopefully be in this afternoon, although I'm not sure what the possible responses will be. His levels were already high the last time, and he wasn't having seizures at all then. This really stinks.

Blood work results came back on 7/17 - phenobarbital level is 25. (Can't remember if there's a decimal there or not.) So he does, at the present moment, have slightly less of the drug circulating in his blood than he did when he was seizure free. However, if the blood level is supposed to be as close to 20 as possible, which is what I have read, is that a problem with increasing the dosage? Dr. G. wants to begin by increasing the dosage by another 1/2 tablet - that'd be around 24 mg one time a day, and 16 the second. Which comes to 40 mg total, I believe. I think the accepted dosage is .2 -.4 mg/kg of weight. He weighs almost exactly 10 pounds - down from 12 pounds the week before the seizures started, by the way. So, he'd be close to the maximum dosage. I don't know. I just want the multiple seizures a day/week to stop. Right now.

Seizure #21 - 7/19/07 at 8:00 AM. Now this was an odd one. He had been asleep on the footrest of my chair. There was a minimal amount of just about everything by the time I realized it was happening. Not a ton of foaming, hardly any jerking, but while I was wiping his face and chest, he made a horrible growling/moaning sort of howl - only the second time he's ever made noise during a seizure. And it seemed totally involuntary. He really didn't appear to be aware that he had done it, or that he'd even heard it, although the other three cats all came running to see what was going on. Once I had his face wiped off, everything just stopped. It had been only a matter of seconds. He just laid there, totally relaxed. There was none of the usual after-seizure activity - no pacing, no meowing, no eating. He seemed alert, though, more than usual. After a few minutes, he jumped down. And in about 15 minutes, I had his food ready, and he did want to eat. (He has so little appetite on phenobarb that about the only time he really eats enthusiastically is after a seizure.) He's still wandering around a half hour afterward in total silence, which is unusual.

It would appear - or my GUESS is - that the increased dosage is actually affecting both the length and severity of his seizure. I don't know how to explain that awful noise. Maybe it was coming from a different part of the brain or something. So maybe there's some hope that giving what seems like a LOT of phenobarb - especially when he's lost so much weight (2 pounds since March when the seizures began) will actually control them again. Hopefully.

Seizure #22: 7/19/07 2:15 PM or so. Enough already. Milk just came out of the bedroom, walking kind of tentatively. I'm starting to recognize when something's happened. Sure enough, his chest was soaked. And as soon as I mopped him up, he started his seizure meow and headed for the kitchen. He's very wobbly this time, though, and he threw up a tiny little bit after he ate - he's never had a hairball, but maybe.... Tiny little bit of pacing and meowing.

Another new prescription

(Is this little cat cute, or WHAT?!)


I've managed to convince myself that this round of seizures has started because of the different manufacturer of the last prescription. I talked to Dr. G. this morning, and he said that it's highly unlikely, but he was willing to indulge me and give me a prescription to get phenobarb manufactured by "Qualitest" again. (The stuff from Costco was made by Wade-Ward.) It's silly, but since giving him one of the new pills at noon, I'm so much more relaxed this afternoon. He's been asleep for five hours, and NO SEIZURES. In fact, the extended sleeping could be a sign that this phenobarb is working better than the last stuff, which really didn't seem to have any of the side effects of the original brand at all. You might think that that's better, but not if "no side effects" also means "nothing keeping the seizures controlled," right?

I also asked about bringing him in today for bloodwork, but there wouldn't be much point in doing it today because phenobarb levels are apparently one of the tests that Antech doesn't do every day and it's a weekend. As I recall, it took three days the last time to get results. So, I'll just take him on Monday or Tuesday. That will mean that the measurement will be of the Qualitest pills, but that's okay, I guess. It would have been interesting to have a measurement of the effectiveness of the ones that weren't working, though.

And another one or three....

Seizure #16 on 7/12/07 at 8:15 PM.

Milk was sleeping on my computer chair when it started. This time, the seizure included mild jerking of his body, as well as the foaming. He let me pick him up and clean his face off, and then wanted down to pace. After a minute or so, he began the meowing, too. He ate an entire can of cat food, and then did more pacing and meowing with much more volume and urgency.

I had talked to the vet today about the apparent mini-seizures (which this one was NOT); he seems unconcerned as long as they're occurring occasionally, but he doesn't seem to see it as an increasingly distressing problem, which I do. Probably because I"m watching the horror go on. (I know that medical people define "controlled" seizure activity as happening once a month or so; we're way beyond that already, though.) I mentioned getting phenobarb blood levels done again, and he thought that it wasn't necessary for another few weeks.

I am seriously thinking about having the MRI done. The problem is, I don't know if we then become long-distance patients of a neurologist who will never actually see Milk in person or not. And if not, are we any better off? Should I contact Ohio State, where people who've been there complained about the waiting and the student involvement? I don't know what to do. I just know that I'm getting scared at the reappearance and the frequency of seizures that is going on, and someone needs to do something. I'm starting to think that maybe I should get a prescription for the rectal valium to have on hand in case this gets out of control. Tomorrow, of course, is Friday, when the vet is closed.

Miniseizure #17, 7/13/07 at 8:30 PM Again he was napping in my computer chair. I had just started to test Scruffy, so by the time I got done and found the camera, Milk was pretty much done. There was foaming, and some jerking and jaw snapping, but by the time I got there, he was still. Sort of out of it, and staring into space. He got down and paced from the kitchen to the living room and back again, with a little meowing, and then wanted food. He ate almost a whole can of Fancy Feast. It's interesting that his physical control and coordination seem to be a little better/steadier after a seizure.

It has occurred to me that the miniseizures and the regular seizures have started again since I got a new prescription for phenobarb from Costco last week - on July 7th. It was a different size and shape pill (and a 16.2 mg pill, according to the pharmacist at CVS) from the one I got at Giant Eagle, and the manufacturer's name on the label was different. I didn't note here exactly when I started noticing the "mini-seizures", but it has been within the last week. I called the pharmacist at CVS tonight and asked her if it might seem likely that the difference in generics might affect seizure activity, and she seemed to think it was a possibility. I plan to take Milk to the vet tomorrow to get blood to check his phenobarbital level, and I want to ask for another prescription to get the previous brand of generic at Giant Eagle again. It would be awful/wonderful if the problem turned out to just be the brand of phenobarb.

A short video of the post seizure period tonight:

http://s142.photobucket.com/albums/r109/olgemac/Milkshake/?action=view&current=3f429532.flv

Mini seizures? Partial seizures? What's going on here?

At least three times since the last dosage increase - which I thought was working well, silly me - Milk has had episodes where I found little wet spots under him. I couldn't figure out where they were coming from, although I was pretty sure they weren't urine. And I had also seen the "wake up from a sound sleep and attack the neck of one of the other cats" activity several times. Finally, at 4 AM this morning (Seizure #15 on 7/12/07), I put the pieces together.

Around midnight, he had jumped on Burble and bitten his neck. There didn't seem to be anything else notable going on then, though. During the night, he was asleep between my ankles. I woke up to the sound of his foaming, which seemed to have just started, and the beginning of the jaw snapping. There was no activity from the rest of his body, though. He just laid there, looking relaxed. I got a kleenex and wiped off his face and chest, and he made a minimal effort to avoid my hand, but he didn't get up or move away. He sort of stared into space for quite a while. And all of a sudden, it hit me. He was having a seizure - but it was different from the previous ones, maybe because of the amount of phenobarbital he's taking now. He didn't progress to the body jerking, or the pacing or meowing. Just to check my theory, I went out to the kitchen and put down a can of food for him, and sure enough, he sat there and ate the entire bowl - exactly what he did post-seizure before.

For the last week or so, he has had definite rear-leg weakness. Yesterday, he fell trying to jump onto the bathroom sink, which hasn't happened since the beginning of phenobarbital. His balance is off, and he's not very accurate about where he's putting his back feet; every trip across my desk or the couch is an adventure, because I never know if he's gonna end up on the floor or what. Thankfully, he's spending almost no time in the cat tree. His appetite is definitely improved, and he's developed a taste for baked/boiled chicken with his pill. (He will no longer eat the Pill Pocket on his own, though; I have to pill him.) Although my scale has said that he weighs 9.9 pounds (the dumb thing only goes up to .9 for the ounces, so I don't know what that weight actually is) for almost two months, he's really back to the bag-of-bones feeling again. That big bone in his chest is huge and pretty much totally unpadded. I was feeling hopeful because, even with the increased dosage, he's cuddling with the other cats again. It had crossed my mind to ask the vet if, when I went to pick up Scruffy yesterday after his dental, I could bring Milk in to have bloodwork done to see what his phenobarb levels are. I was glad I hadn't done it when we got into the huge rainstorms, but I guess it should be a priority.

I wish there was a neurologist closer than hours from here. I just don't know if I can realistically consider $1300 for an MRI. I'm thinking that maybe it would be worth doing the "video neurology consult", although that's not gonna show if there's anything going on inside his brain. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm not taking adequate care of him, and now I'm scared if he's having even these "mini-seizures" more often. Is each one doing more damage? How much more doped up is he going to have to be? How come this is happening?

Feeling more hopeful!

Well, I panicked after the two seizures in four hours on June 15, and went back to 15 mg bid.
Milk's been back on that dosage for a while now, and it seems to be having a much less negative effect on him than the last time. He's not sleeping as much, he's cuddling again with the other cats, and he is just generally "here" again. And he's much more interested in food this time, thank goodness. There have been no seizures since the dosage increase. I still have the 10mg vet chews, and at some point, I'd like to try to reduce the amount of phenobarb again, but maybe it'd be a good idea to wait until the next time his blood levels are checked. I'm hesitant to do anything to rock the boat again.

One small thing I've noticed - twice in the last few days (the second time was tonight), Milk was sleeping on the back of the couch, and he fell off. The first time, he went forward and landed in one of the kitty pi's, looking like he'd been sitting there all night. Tonight, he fell backward and ended up sitting up on the floor. He appeared a little dazed. There was no meowing or foaming or anything else that happens with a regular seizure, so maybe this was a petit mal seizure, or maybe it wasn't a seizure at all? Although, I've never seen him or any cat fall off the couch in their sleep. Something to keep track of, I guess.

Seizures return.

Until Seizure #12, Monday afternoon, June 11, 2007. He had been downstairs, and out of the blue, he showed up beside my chair. He was meowing plaintively, and his face and neck were wet - a bad sign. And he was starving. He ate almost an entire 5 ounce can of food in one fell swoop. I had run the sweeper earlier, and he was scared from behind the couch by it, hiding in the bedroom, and then dashing from the bedroom when I got in there. I have never been able to identify any triggers, but I wonder if, since he was more aware because of the lower dosage of phenobarb, he was more terrified by the noise. He seems more sensitive to sounds after the seizures. I talked to the vet about maybe increasing the dosage again a little (difficult to do because of the size of the pills - would need vet chews or liquid, I suppose.) He was reluctant to do an increase, and said that very few cats are ever totally seizure-free on the medication - and that a cat that has only one or two seizures a month is considered "well-controlled." I guess I was spoiled by the two months with NO seizures. I don't want to have to choose between having him be a zombie with no personality and no appetite, or having seizures every time he turns around, though.

Seizure # 13, Friday, June 15, 2007, 4:15 AM. I woke to the sounds of Milk having a seizure. By the time I realized what was going on and located him, he was leaning against the back of the couch and jerking and snapping his jaw. The foam was gone from his face, but his fur and whiskers still had a few bubbles on them, and the kitty Pi he'd been sleeping in and the back of the couch were wet. (Thank goodness he isn't peeing during seizures, I guess.) His pupils were very dilated. He didn't pace or meow afterwards, but he was wobbly, and he ate most of a can of friskies and then started grooming himself. He wanted to rub against the other cats, who were all gathered around watching him. I guess this would be classified as a mild seizure, compared to some of the others. One thing I noticed - around 1:00AM, he was laying in his Pi with Scruffy and Burble in theirs, and all of a sudden, he jumped up and sank his teeth into Burble's neck. Burble indignantly hopped down right away, and Milkshake just sat upright on the couch and stared at him on the floor. It was odd behavior, and now I wonder if it was some sort of seizure-foreshadowing?

Seizure #14 - Friday, June 15, 2007, 8:00 AM. This one came as a real surprise, being only four hours after the last one. He had been sleeping on the end of my recliner, between my feet, and it was less violent-seeming than most. His pupils were very enlarged, and there was foaming and jaw-snapping. And a lot of jerking, although not very hard. He let me pick him up and hold him while he was still jerking, and sat in my arms for a while afterwards while I tried to dry off his face and neck with kleenex. He had a funny smell to him - almost chlorine-like - that I never noticed before. (But, I'd done a couple loads of towels yesterday with chlorine, so that's probably where the smell came from.) When he wanted down, he did a minimal amount of pacing - he was meowing for food. I opened three different kinds of canned food, none of which he wanted, and I finally gave him a little bit of dry, which he gobbled right up. He paced a while after he ate, and the meowing - piteously - continued for almost an hour. I'm not sure he was even aware that he was meowing - it seemed somehow more like a reflex than a communication. This is really depressing.

Phenobarbital started, and reduced.

On April 3, 2007, I took Milk to the vet. He had full blood work done, including the bile acids survey and testing for FIV, FELV, bartonella, and that other thing that you get from eating raw meat. Geez, my mind. All the results were either normal or negative. So.....

On April 4, 2007, I started giving him a quarter of a 60 mg phenobarbital pill. It wasn't a very accurate dosage, because the pill splitter didn't always get everything the same size. I put the pill in a Pill Pocket, which worked very well - he gobbled it right down. But from the beginning, he was pretty zombie-like at that dosage. He didn't come when I called him - he didn't even flick his ears as though he recognized his name. He wouldn't let you pet him - like to run your hand from head to tail - he'd scrooch down so you were actually not touching anything. He was very clumsy - he fell off the bathroom sink, the kitchen table, the end table he likes to sit on, and the cat tree - multiple times. Sometimes he couldn't seem to get it together with his back legs to jump up onto places, either. His coordination was very poor. And, surprisingly, his appetite almost completely disappeared, which was odd, since phenobarbital is supposed to be an appetite stimulant. He was simply not himself from the very first pill. But - and it was a BIG "But" - he didn't have a single seizure on 15 mg.

I continued to give him 15mg bid all through April and into the middle of May. I took him back after six weeks for bloodwork to check his phenobarb level. It came out 27.2. Which the vet said was right in the middle of the recommended 15-40 scale, but I had read in several veterinary books that that scale was more geared to dogs, and that cats should be between 20-30, and the closer to 20, the better. And then it worried me that he wasn't eating, and the falling, and the other non-Milkshake things that I was seeing, so I started chipping the corners off the pills before I gave them to him. No way of knowing how much that reduced the dosage - it was minimal, I'm sure. I didn't see much difference in the way he acted, and he didn't have any seizures. I had what clearly has turned out to be a false hope that he'd have "gotten over" the seizures. The vet agreed to give me a prescription for 10mg vet chews from BCP, to try to lower the dosage. Unfortunately (especially since they were REALLY expensive, plus shipping!) he was used to the Pill Pockets, and he wanted nothing to do with chicken flavored Vet Chews. So, I gave up on them.

The first week of June, 2007, the vet gave me a prescription for 15 mg pills that I could cut in half. And it was like magic! Suddenly, the regular Milk was back. He played, he ran and jumped without falling over, and he ATE. It was wonderful. He cuddled again, with me and with the other cats. He started napping beside Scruffy.

And then the seizures started......

All was going well with Milkshake. We loved him dearly. He'd gained weight, he was an enthusiastic eater, he was attached to us and to the other cats, and he was a total delight.

Seizure #1: In the evening, on Friday, March 23, 2007, 11 PM, I was watching television, and Milk was napping on the couch. All of a sudden, he sort of stood up, lurched forward against the back of the couch, with foam all over his mouth. He had a kind of vacant, stunned look. He got down off the couch, and began to circle the living room rapidly. I had no idea what had just happened. I thought it must have had something to do with the foaming - like he'd choked or something. The thought of a seizure did cross my mind - I've seen humans have seizures, but never a cat. After he stopped circling, he came over and was very clingy. He let me clean off his face and neck where the foam ended up. Very upsetting.

Seizure #2: Saturday, March 24, 2007, 3PM. I didn't actually see this one, and it didn't register what had happened until later. I was in the kitchen at the computer, when I heard a "clunk" in the living room. Milk had been sleeping on the highest place on the new cat tree, and apparently fell off it. I didn't see foam, but he was acting oddly, and he's certainly never fallen off there before.

Seizure #3: Saturday, March 24, 2007, 10:30 PM. Another evening seizure that occurred while he was sleeping on the couch. There appears to be nothing triggering these seizures; they just happen.

Seizure #4: Sunday, March 25, 2007. In the morning. Milk was napping on the footrest of my recliner when the seizure started. Somehow, and I'm not sure how because it was so quick and horrifying, he ended up laying on the floor beside the chair. Lots of foaming. Same circling behavior afterwards. I didn't think to offer him food.

Monday, March 26, 2007. I took Milk to the vet. He examined him and said he didn't see anything obviously wrong. Suggested blood work, but I was in such a state I didn't follow up on it. I was hoping, also, that it wasn't going to happen again.

Seizure #5: Tuesday, March 27, 2007. About 2:00 AM. I didn't write down the details of this one, which makes me think that maybe I had been asleep and he woke me having the seizure. There was lots of foam.

Seizure #6: Thursday, March 29, 2007, 6 AM. This was a bad seizure - the worst yet. He'd been sleeping on the bottom of my chair. He woke me at 6 AM in the middle of the seizure. It started on the chair, but he ended up on the floor because he was quivering so hard. Once again, there didn't seem to be any trigger. He did a lot of circling afterwards, with plaintive meowing. I gave him food and he ate rapidly and with a sort of compulsive aspect to it.

Seizure #7: Saturday. March 31, 2007, 11 AM. He was again sleeping on the top of the cat tree when the seizure started. I was sitting in my chair, but didn't realize what was going on until he hit the floor. He bounced around and seemed to have wedged himself under the overhang of the end table. (I rearranged the furniture over there and put afghans and padding on the floor, and put a basket over the top level of the cat tree, so no one can sleep up there any more. It's not all that much closer to the ground if they're in the tunnel, but it made me feel a little better.) I went over to him immediately, and he was meowing and obviously shocked. He paced a little. I gave him food, and he ate voraciously.

Seizure #8: Sunday, April 1, 2007, 5:30 AM. Again he was sleeping on the couch when he had the seizure. Prior to it, he'd been acting very fearful - there was a heavy rainstorm going on, and I don't know what he remembers about storms, since he was so young last spring. He also had been hiding and wouldn't come when I called him. Seizure include foaming and jerking, with meowing and pacing afterwards.

Seizure #9: Monday, April 2, 2007, 11:00 PM. Violent movement from couch to floor, with his whole body quivering. Pupils were very dilated. Afterward, he let me pick him up, but then wanted down and started pacing and meowing. He seemed to recover a little faster this time and was a little less disoriented. He wanted to rub against the other cats.

Seizure #10: Tuesday, April 3, 2007, 3 AM. The worst seizure yet. He had fallen from the bottom of my recliner, where he was sleeping between my feet, onto the floor. He jerked and jerked, with some paddling movements for the first time. He also made a noise for the first time - sort of a high-pitched moaning noise. There was saliva all over him and the floor. He was doing some tooth-snapping, I now think - wasn't sure what it was before. Like banging his teeth together, or his jaws being tight or something. He let me hold him for a long time until he stopped jerking and shaking and started breathing normally. When I put him down, his coordination was very poor and he would react jerkily to sounds.

Seizure #11: Wednesday, April 4, 2007,In the PM. I didn't see this one - but when I got back from taking Busy to the vet (and got a prescription for phenobarbital for Milk), his neck and face were all wet, which happens from the foaming saliva. He was meowing and ravenous. STARTED PHENOBARBITAL, 15mg bid.

Milkshake the wonder cat

Where he came from:

Back in February, 2006, I was wandering through PetSmart. I make a point of never looking at the cats and kittens they have in cages for adoption because I can't bear it. But, for some reason, this time, I noticed a cage, way up on the top row, with a bunch of cartons and boxes in front of it - you could see the corner of the cage, and the note about the cat inside, but not the actual cat. The note said that his name was "Jerry", that he belonged to the Humane Society, and that he had been brought to them when his family was being evicted. He'd been "swept up" with 30 other cats. It also mentioned that he was "exotic looking." And for some reason, I just HAD to see him. So I shoved the boxes aside and stood on my tiptoes, and looked inside the cage, where I saw the most pitiful little animal I have ever seen. He was literally just skin and bones. He would have been white, except for the urine stains that covered every inch of his body. His eyes were oozing black stuff. His back knees banged together when he tried to walk. Even through the glass, I could see that he was having trouble breathing. I looked again at the cage tag, and noticed that it said he was 7 months old and weighed three and a half pounds. It made my heart hurt just to look at him. I already had three cats and a husband who carries on like a maniac every time a new cat shows up at the door.

When I went to check out, I said to the cashier, "That little white cat on the top row is sick. Isn't there someone to look at him?" And she said, "Oh, I'll go look." And she wandered off toward the back of the store. And for the rest of the evening, all I could think about was that pitiful kitten. I called the store manager when I got home and said that the cat was clearly sick, and what were they going to do for him? She said that she'd contact the Humane Society. I asked for the name of the person in charge of the HS adoption program, and then I called her and left a message. The next day, I went back to PetSmart, and got the manager to get little Jerry out of his cage and let me visit with him. It was even more awful than looking at him. He could hardly walk. He cried when he jumped down. He cried when you touched him. His breathing was ragged. His eyes were a mess. Every bone in his body stuck out. I said to the manager, "You are going to send him back to the Humane Society for medical care, right?" She said, "Oh, yes. I'll call them as soon as you leave." When I got home, the woman from the Humane Society had called and left a message. She announced that the PetSmart manager did NOT feel that Jerry needed medical care. I almost fell on the floor. The HS woman then said that they had a "very qualified volunteer" who visits the caged cats every night, and this person would be asked to make a decision on whether or not Jerry gets seen by a vet. I asked her if I could just take him long enough for my own vet to see him. She said no. I was pretty sure that he'd still be sitting in his cage at PetSmart the next day....

And he was. I absolutely could not leave him there. Aside from the terrible condition he was in, he was putting all the other cats and kittens at risk. On February 8, 2006, I told the manager to get him out of the cage. I paid his fee, put him in the car, and drove straight to my vet. He said that Jerry - hated that name! - had lost more than a third of his muscle mass because of malnutrition. He had severe conjunctivitis, most likely feline herpes, and a severe upper respiratory infection. He was shocked that a cat in that condition had been neutered three days before and then stuck in a cage at PetSmart. He gave me antibiotics and eye medication and instructions to feed him by syringe every two hours with a high calorie canned food. I started with AD, but he wasn't crazy about it. He loved the EVO canned, though, and soon was eating - on his own - two five ounce cans a day. His nose dripped constantly, even after he started living like a normal cat. He loved to wander around and see where all the other cats were so he could smash up against them. He never laid down without having a paw on someone.

And he is a wonderful cat. He has the sweetest personality. He sits on my chest and just stares into my eyes. He loves to snuggle. You never see him alone. He is always mashed up against either me, or one of the other cats. He seems to have such a need to touch them. He is such a tender little guy. He pats my cheek. He loves to hop up and wedge himself into my elbow and nap. I am absolutely besotted with him. I never wanted a white cat - too much pink. But he was absolutely the most loving little cat ever. His back legs were a little weak in the beginning, but as he began to eat better and more, he got stronger. Within a matter of months, he could hop from the floor to the top of the cat tree. It was wonderful. Having him around was such a sweet experience. My husband, who refused to even look at little Milkshake for two weeks, suddenly realized what a charmer he was, and began reporting to me every day about all the smart things he was doing. It just seemed like everything was about as good as it could be for us and for Milk.